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    October 14

    高中三年

    高中的三年里我早以学会麻木对待学校的纪律以及各种各样的"合理要求"
    在刚入学的时候我尽量向物品的同学们表现出我好的东西,我很积极,很快我融入了这个大圈子,整天嘻嘻哈哈因为我知道这样比较好和人相处.
    其实我是不喜欢多言的.
    我升入高二的时候周围的环境基本上已经固定了.我在学校过着昆虫的生活,住在一个阴暗潮湿的虫穴里.但是我周围的人让我感到温暖.我很知足.
    我很少说话了.
    高三,换了个班主任,我不学习,和我没有关系,但是她说话的方式让我感到难受.同学们都为着自己的理想和妄想努力着,而我.只是一个旁观者.曾经给我过温暖的人们开始变的冷冰冰.他们都在做着真正自己想做的事,憨厚的脸变的狡诈,阳光的脸变的阴霾."自私""贪婪""嘲笑"他们不再受到束缚变的自由自在,人们的脚下遍布着面具的碎片,人与人.面对面的冷漠.我不禁想起了虚伪的可爱.周围美丽的世界一下破碎取而代之的是仿佛无尽的冰冷之夜.周围压抑的气氛让我头疼,我艰难的看着表的指针一点一点的移动着,我等待着这些的尽头,终结之时,我可以深呼吸然后轻叹一声.或者是仰着头在没人的地方长啸一声,但那时的我可能依旧孤独.
    此时.我几乎不说话了.

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